“The Family of
Faith”
Mark
10:2-16
October 4, 2009
This morning’s reading
from the Gospel of Mark is one of those passages of Scripture that may sound like nails
running across a chalkboard to some. On the
other hand, many others may hear the voice of God bringing order to the chaos of
contemporary culture. If either of these
perspectives is true, why bother reading it at all? Well,
it seems to me that there is something for us all in this challenging passage, a message
of peace and love and grace on this World Communion Sunday, even if for a little while we
have to squirm or resist the temptation of a self-righteous attitude.
Please listen for how the
Spirit is addressing us this morning through God’s word found on page 43 of the New
Testament section of your pew Bibles from the Gospel of Mark chapter ten verses two
through sixteen…
2Some Pharisees
came, and to test him they asked, “Is it lawful for a man to divorce his wife?” 3He
answered them, “What did Moses command you?” 4They said, “Moses
allowed a man to write a certificate of dismissal and to divorce her.” 5But
Jesus said to them, “Because of your hardness of heart he wrote this commandment for
you. 6But from the beginning of creation, ‘God made them male and female.’
7‘For this reason a man shall leave his father and mother and be joined to
his wife, 8and the two shall become one flesh.’ So they are no longer two,
but one flesh. 9Therefore what God has joined together, let no one separate.”
10Then in the house the disciples
asked him again about this matter. 11He said to them, “Whoever divorces
his wife and marries another commits adultery against her; 12and if she
divorces her husband and marries another, she commits adultery.”
13People were bringing little
children to him in order that he might touch them; and the disciples spoke sternly to
them. 14But when Jesus saw this, he was indignant and said to them, “Let
the little children come to me; do not stop them; for it is to such as these that the
kingdom of God belongs. 15Truly I tell you, whoever does not receive the
kingdom of God as a little child will never enter it.” 16And he took them
up in his arms, laid his hands on them, and blessed them.
This
is God’s word to us…
Commenting on the institution of marriage
Abraham Lincoln once said, “Marriage is neither heaven nor hell, it is simply
purgatory.” Sounding a more moderate
tone, Ruth Bell Graham, wife of the famous evangelist has said, “A good marriage is
the union of two forgivers.” And author
E.J. Graff spoke the truth when saying, “Marriage is when you agree to spend the rest
of your life sleeping in a room that’s too warm, beside someone who’s sleeping
in a room that’s too cold.”
That marriage is difficult
makes possible such statements, but this morning’s passage from Mark is one of those
readings from the Bible that brings out all sorts of emotions, including; anger, sorrow,
bitterness, confusion, and guilt, to name a few. Not
only is it difficult for people in the pews to hear, but also for pastors dedicated to
preaching the lectionary, it is one passage that is often avoided. After all, there is not a family in this
congregation that has not been effected in some way by divorce.
So why even bother with it? For at least two reasons, I suppose. First, since Jesus is very explicit with his
language it is important for us to understand the wider context of what he was saying so
that we aren’t tempted to simply lift Jesus’ words out of the Bible and use them
as a bludgeon. Second, in our culture of
anything goes, it is important for us to pause and really think about what God’s
intention for marriage and all relationships is. Tackling
Jesus’ true intent and not just his literal words as well as considering God’s
desire for our relationships seem appropriate for this Sunday when the world celebrates
the Eucharist and we receive and offering in the name of Peacemaking.
So let’s look a little
closer at what Jesus says about divorce. Of
all the things that we call sin and of all the ways of living that our church and culture
are comfortable condemning; divorce is not one of them, is it? So what are Jesus’ difficult to hear words on
the subject? When the disciples persisted in
asking Jesus about the subject he said, “Whoever divorces his wife and marries
another commits adultery against her; and if she divorces her husband and marries another,
she commits adultery” (Mark
10:11-12).
Such language from Jesus may
leave us wondering: where is the love; where is the grace; where is the understanding? After all, there are good reasons for divorce. What with October being “Domestic Violence
Awareness Month” surely all will agree that an abusive spouse is one that should not
only be avoided but also abandoned. Likewise a
spouse that carries on an affair is one that should be confronted and if unwilling to
relinquish his or her unacceptable behavior, divorce is a likely outcome. For these and other reasons we as a society have
embraced divorce as necessary.
That we acknowledge divorce
as an option does not change the fact that it is often a tragedy. And so the question becomes, “How do we
respond to such an unfortunate necessity?” How
do followers of Jesus respond to their family and friends who find themselves in
impossible relationships where divorce is the only answer?
After abuse at one end of the spectrum and countless hours of counseling
that leads nowhere or with little results on the other end; how do we as people of faith
respond?
We respond by working for
healing and wholeness. We take the time to
look at our brothers and sisters of faith and say, “How can I pray for you? Or what can I do for you to help you find peace in
your life?” Our response should be
informed by the care and concern that we see so often in the words and ministry of Jesus
and not judgment.
So why does Jesus make such
an alarming statement about divorce and remarriage? I
mean, for all of us who know either family or friends who have been through divorce; it is
difficult to say the least to hear Jesus tell the disciples that those who divorce and
remarry are adulterers. This just doesn’t
sound like the Jesus we all love, does it?
Maybe Jesus sounds such a
shocking tone because he was being asked a question for which the questioners already knew
the answer. After all, throughout Leviticus
and Deuteronomy, texts which both the Pharisees and disciples would have been very
familiar, there are a number of references to divorce.
So maybe Jesus is upset not at whether or why or how divorce is permissible,
but that the religious elite along with his own followers are so focused on the wrong
thing.
We could spend all day
talking about the reasons and justifications for divorce and we could commiserate with one
another about the pain of divorce and the tragedy of divorce. But what Jesus wants for us to focus on is what
marriage means—what God hopes for marriage to be.
Child advocate and Christian
Educator Carolyn C. Brown has some wise things to say about God’s intention for
marriage; she says, “In a culture that endorses serial marriage, children need to
hear the church’s insistence that God intends marriage to be a lifelong commitment.” And that “such commitments need to be
described and held up as the Christian ideal.”
This is essentially what
Jesus meant when he responded to the Pharisees by saying, “But from the beginning of
creation, ‘God made them male and female.’ For
this reason a man shall leave his father and mother and be joined to his wife, and the two
shall become one flesh.’ So they are no
longer two, but one flesh. Therefore what God
has joined together, let no one separate.”
These words that Jesus uses
in response to the Pharisees comes from the second chapter of Genesis. In essence it is the very ideal of what God had in
mind for male/female relationships from the beginning.
That divorce became a reality among the people of the Old Testament as well
as in Jesus’ day up until today is a result of our human condition to focus on things
other than God’s desire. Sometimes this
lack of focus is because of things we intentionally do to others and sometimes it is us
being the victim of another. But taken
together divorce is a human creation, necessary yes, but it is not what God intended for
us.
With God’s intention
for the created order in mind, Carolyn C. Brown goes on to say, “Children need to
listen-in on adult-oriented” discussions “that suggest practical ways to make
and maintain marriage. In the process, the
will begin to lay the foundations for their own marriages.
On the other hand, children also need to hear that just as God forgives us
when we are greedy or lie or steal, God also forgives us and our parents when they fail to
make marriage last a lifetime.”
So what does this look like? If you had the opportunity to attend Kelly and
David Ruggles’ wedding this past summer or Steve and Sue Knott’s wedding in
January 2008 then you heard, what I believe to be one of the most comprehensive and yet
concise pieces of writing on God’s intention for marriage. That is, the “Statement on the Gift of
Marriage” which is included in our marriage rite from the Book of Common Worship. Contained within this statement are some simple
words that direct a couple and all who are gathered towards God’s intention for
marriage.
Listen to these carefully
crafted words and see if you can’t find some wisdom for your marriage:
God created us male and
female, and gave us marriage so that husband and wife may help and comfort each other,
living faithfully together in plenty and want, in joy and sorrow, in sickness and in
health, throughout all their days.
God gave us marriage for the
full expression of love between a man and a woman. In
marriage a woman and a man belong to each other, and with affection and tenderness freely
give themselves to each other.
God gave us marriage for the
well-being of human society, for the ordering of family life, and for the birth and
nurture of children.
God gave us marriage as a
holy mystery in which a man and a woman are joined together, and become one, just as
Christ is one with the church.
In marriage, husband and
wife are called to a new way of life, created, ordered and blessed by God.
Though they are just words
when taken seriously and lived out within the bonds of marriage, these words reflect God’s
desire for marriage, a relationship meant for a lifetime.
These words reflect as well Jesus’ teaching on the matter of divorce so
that we might remember that he did not outlaw divorce as a sin so much as he pointed out
God’s intention for marriage.
I believe Jesus also
intended for us to work for the restoration of those who find divorce as the only answer. For how is it that Mark chooses to follow Jesus’
stunningly harsh words about divorce and remarriage? The
Gospel of Mark continues with Jesus’ welcoming of children when he says, “Let
the little children come to me; do not stop them; for it is to such as these that the
Kingdom of God belongs.” What if, in
following Jesus’ words to the disciples with his story of welcoming children the
writer of Mark is calling us to take on an attitude of trust and openness that we see most
clearly in children?
Maybe by taking on such a
posture—a posture of youthful hospitality—we will be able to find room in all of
our relationships for forgiveness, blessing and love.
Maybe then we can work on the relationships to which God has called us, both
within the sanctity of marriage as well as within the Body of Christ. If we take the time to make these relationships
work, then we will truly be on the road of building the kingdom of God at home and in the
wider world.
Amen.
